Lady Mole Catcher

The lady mole catcher arrived at midday today. Overnight, three new mounds had appeared at the edge of the patio, underneath the bedroom window. Her arrival was eagerly anticipated, and I was pleased when she turned up as arranged. Louise was a very pleasant lady, and a local Norfolk woman with extensive experience in catching moles. She is the only lady mole catcher around, and her services are in great demand. It is not important to have a lady to catch the moles of course, unless you happen to be a female of nervous disposition, unwilling to welcome strange men onto your premises. If you would like to engage the services of this nice lady, here is a link to her site. http://www.ladymolecatcher.co.uk/

The lady mole catcher had an air of authority, and she certainly talked the talk, mole-wise. She rapidly debunked the various snippets of advice we had received from others, and was able to give me the full lowdown on mole activity, obviously at the top of her game. After an examination of our garden and patio, area, she declared that the outlook was pessimistic. ‘I may have to walk away from this one’, was her initial verdict. She inserted her probe into various places, and discovered that the soil was sandy, and full of gravel. Not ideal for good trapping, it seems. Retrieving her trusty trowel from her small van, she had a good dig around between the sites of the most recent mole activity. The run was located, and I was shown the small tunnel entrance that the mole uses on its perambulations in search of worms. She reluctantly decided to leave two traps, in the hope of catching the mole. I say reluctantly, because she does not expect the mole to enter them, due to the way the runs go under the patio. As she only gets a fee if the mole is caught, it is work that she may end up doing for free, adding the cost of travel to our house too.

The traps were set, and I was shown how to tell if they have worked. She will return on a regular basis to check them. Meanwhile, I got the good and bad news about what to expect, if no mole is caught. There will be one mole, and it may decide to inhabit our garden for up to five years. If there is sufficient food, it will stay where it is. Should it realise that there are not the required twenty worms a day required to keep it alive, it might move to next door, or further afield. If we get rain and damp weather, it is likely to reside longer. They like wet soil, and rain encourages worms too. Overall, it is not looking good for our poor bungalow. I can well imagine that the slabs on the patio will begin to deform if undermined, and there is the constant mess of the discarded soil too. On the plus side, they do not affect drainage, sewage, or anything necessary for the smooth running of the house.

Perhaps we should consider saving up, and getting the whole garden paved over? Update to follow, for anyone still awake.

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10 thoughts on “Lady Mole Catcher

    1. Mark, I see that you are also a mole catcher, but a long way from here, in Yorkshire. The Lady Mole catcher was good enough for me. They never came back, anyway.
      Regards, Pete.

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  1. Holy moley! Since your garden has become Moletaupea (the French word for mole is “taupe”), i.e., a utopia for moles, why not capitalize on it? Don’t be blind to the possibilities! For example, you could construct a taupe-o-graphical map of the garden, and sell it in souvenir shoppes or at the shopping mole [sic]. You could fabricate plush mole toys, dressing some, for example, as members of the French Underground. You could even create a comic strip anti-hero, The Molester! Or write a children’s book about the Titanic, featuring the unsinkable Moley Brown. I see a wealth of possibilities! Have you considered how blessed you are to have this visitor of high distinction living on your property?

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  2. I agree with FND you can’t pave the whole yard! But you could create a courtyard perhaps with a mix of brick paths and gravel, raised beds etc. Would that work? I have never had to deal with moles so have no advice for you, but I did see one a few weeks ago when out with my daughter on the common here – I think it was a youngster and very sweet, burying its way out of a pile of mown grass! Maybe you could make friends with yours, or encourage lots of birds to eat those tempting worms 😉

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      1. Perhaps you could pave to eradicate the mole, poor blighter, and put some decking on top. Otherwise, pave and have lots of simple terracotta pots with beautiful plants and flowers. Or a mix of everything that Jude and I have suggested!

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