Mole Wars: Update

The mole is still eluding the traps. It has gone tantalisingly close to them, leaving a molehill just inches from one.  The patio still seems to be providing sanctuary, as smaller hills chart the progress around the edge. When I cut the grass this week, I had hoped to tempt it out onto the lawn, but it isn’t playing my game. The history of man versus mole is a long one, and has existed since we have cultivated crops, and prepared lawns to relax on. Despite advances in technology, and numerous tips on the Internet available, they don’t appear to be any easier to catch now, than they were in the days of Queen Victoria.

I confess to a grudging admiration for the determined creature. I thought that moles were rodents, but research tells me that they are not, and they belong to a different order of animals. They are nothing if not industrious. It took me a considerable time to shift buckets of disturbed soil this week. The small mole must be powerful indeed, to have excavated such piles. Scale up that level of work and industry to our size, and a man could easily dig a substantial tunnel by lunchtime.

I have a niggling feeling that this is a war we are not going to win. The oblivious mole, intent on feeding, blissfully unaware of the disturbance to our aesthetics, has no idea of the contest raging above. It is just going about its business as it always has, with little regard to the clumsy creatures that also inhabit its world. The tiny animal has humbled us, and a part of me thinks that this is the way it should be. The other part wants to catch the thing, naturally. ‘Beaten by a mole’ is hardly a desirable epitaph.

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9 thoughts on “Mole Wars: Update

  1. I know I haven’t commented for a while but the mole story has dragged me in; memories of the Jasper Carrot brought to mind. I gave up on our moles a long time ago and now use the excavated soil for potting up new plants. All the best Pete from the Winkos

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    1. Great to see you back Eddy. Hope that Gosia and The Winkette are doing fine, and that your Polish harvest was successful.
      Someone sent us a video clip of a cartoon of the Jasper carrot sketch, and it was very true!
      Looking forward to seeing you ‘back in harness’ one of these days.
      All the very best from Norfolk, Pete.

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  2. Your mole is obviously a foreign spy who is conducting secret chemistry experiments. I don’t know what the chemical substance in question is, but it probably has something to do with chemical warfare, and so you should perhaps contact the British government. This mole should not be allowed to cross the red line. If it does, then negotiations are in order. And if that doesn’t work, the government could vote on a menu of sanctions, such as reducing the worm population in your garden.

    Here in the States, moles have been responsible for major uprisings. They use shady methods to accomplish their ultimate goal, which is to undermine the very fabric of our happy existence. The homeland is in deep peril. Our politicians have tunnel vision, and have done nothing about this problem. Their inaction has soiled their reputation, and left the security of our country on shaky ground. How can we cultivate our garden, as Candide advised, if moles are allowed to expand their invasive network of spies? Pete, you must stop the Beetley mole at all costs. After all, this mole is not your garden variety threat!

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