Do you ever consider that you might think too much? I know I do. Whether it’s about an idea for a blog post, a short story, or even what I might be planning to do at the weekend, I have a definite tendency to over-think almost everything. A chance conversation when out walking the dog, can turn into hours of thoughtful speculation about what the other person might be like away from the Meadows, how they live their life, or what they meant by an ambiguous comment.
Even thinking about something as mundane and everyday like shopping lists, and what to buy in for the meals in any given week can turn into an unnecessary think-fest. Are we having the same meals too often? When did I last prepare this, or that? Once in the shop, I am still thinking. Which vegetable should I offer with this meal? Didn’t we have something almost identical last week? Am I in danger of buying and cooking the same things on the same days every week, much as my mother did? Instead of just happily flinging things into my trolley, then worrying about it later, I stick rigidly to my list, even stacking things in the basket in the same order.
When it comes to a social event, or just going out for a meal, the thinking starts to erect a barrier immediately. Will that place be busy on a Saturday? Have we been there too many times previously? Do either of us really fancy that particular style of food? When planning the journey, I start to think about allowing enough time to arrive at a good time for the booking. Not too early, and never too late, in case we lose the table. By the time we actually get there, I might even have been thinking about what I am going to eat, having thought to peruse the menu online, before leaving home. Gone are the days when I would just wander up the street on the off-chance of a free table, unconcerned about the style of the restaurant, or the type of food on offer.
And when it comes to blogging, the thought processes go into overdrive. Too many music posts recently? Are readers bored of the same old dog-walking stories, or am I just bored of writing them? Should I post more photos, even if they have no relevance to the post, because people enjoy them so much? Starting a post, I begin to think if it is worth publishing. Re-reading, editing, and correcting until it no longer really resembles my original intention. Making notes on paper sometimes, often preparing drafts, reading them as previews, and eventually going back to the beginning, because I am thinking that it is not up to standard. I often review this blog, as regular readers will know. I think about when I started, how I continued, and what makes me feel good about being a blogger. The result is that there is generally too much thought, and too little instinct.
When I think about it, (pun intended) I can explain. Being retired, getting older, having more time to think, and less inclination to be impulsive. It all adds up. But whether or not it is a good thing, that’s harder to evaluate. I am left with a constantly whirring mind; too many thoughts, in far too many different compartments. I think that I need to stop thinking so much.