As regular readers will be aware, the last few days have not been normal, in the world of beetleypete.
Since starting to feel unwell last weekend, I am still experiencing bouts of dizziness, having trouble sleeping, and I am unable to drive. Even trying to bend down to stroke Ollie brings on a wave of weirdness that is hard to describe. The tablets prescribed by the doctor only stave this off for short periods, and even knowing what is causing the problem only helps a little. I am not panicking any more at least, that’s something to be thankful for.
When you only feel right standing bolt upright, or sitting in a chair without turning too quickly, all sorts of limitations start to intrude on your daily routine. For one thing, you begin to realise just how routine many aspects of your life are; carried out without thought, taken for granted. Turning over in bed, bending forward to put your socks on, or to put a lead around a dog’s neck. When such things have to be thought about, planned in advance, and tackled as if they are something best avoided, your perception of life changes very quickly. From one day when all is well, to the next when it isn’t quite right, you begin to re-think every action and movement. Not much fun, I can tell you.
And as I suffer in my own small way, so does the blog. Sitting in my excellent office chair for a few hours is bearable, if not preferable, to the alternative of lying down trying not to feel strange. But ideas are fuzzy, and too much time at the computer adds to the feeling of discombobulation that hovers over my waking hours, and many of my sleeping ones too. My usual posting routine had gone, along with all the other routines that were second nature. Plans for posts, notes in draft, all still await development. A good idea for a fiction story just disappeared without trace yesterday, and I cannot recall it, try as I might.
It has only been a few days, but feels like weeks. I can only hope that this starts to get better soon, and the medication begins to stabilise these sensations. If not, then this small blog will surely deteriorate too, along with the blogger. At least I got to use the word ‘discombobulation’ in a post…