An older man

I am starting to feel my age. There is no point denying that obvious reduction in physical ability, together with my poor eyesight. I tried to assemble a small trike for my step-grandson today, and I was defeated by the tiny print on the instructions, even with my strongest glasses on.

I suppose that I could just give up, but I am reluctant to do that. I still managed almost three hours walking with Ollie today, despite the unseasonal heat, and a late night. It is all too easy to become frustrated with things like instruction leaflets, and attempting tasks when you are surprised to feel tired. Your instinct is to push on, to overcome the obstacles, but that is easier said than done.

It feels like my portrait in the attic (Dorian Grey) has been made flesh, and all my past sins and follies have caught up with me, at long last. Small jobs are ridiculously tiring. Patience is at a premium, and any effort seems like trying to plough through oil. When I was much younger, I had no idea that this would eventually happen. In that respect, this has all come as a surprise. And an unpleasant one at that.

Although my brain tells me otherwise, my body states firmly that I am an older man. I cannot do the things that I was used to doing with ease, and simple tasks appear to be insurmountable. If I believed that I was fit and capable, I was very wrong. In the middle ages, this would seem to be a great age. In modern times, it is almost disregarded, and I am considered to have a good twenty years ahead of me. My body and functions disagree though, and as a result, I feel my age intensely.

Perhaps my time has been and gone. My span exhausted, but nobody told the rest of me. Either way, there seems to be little else that I can contribute, nothing that I can see or do. My body is telling me that enough is enough. I am done.

I am officially an older man.

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32 thoughts on “An older man

  1. Getting old isn’t fun for anyone, it’s kinda rubbish really 😦 it’s hard not being able to do things that we’ve always done and it’s frustrating as well.

    The thing is we don’t actually change do we! I’m the same person I was 20 years ago, just a little more responsible and little more worldly. But I’m still ME.

    Sometimes I think you sound a little down in the dumps dear Pete, which wouldn’t be surprising with your vertigo a little while ago. Keep your chin up anyway. Cliches might be cliches but theyr’e still true and age is just a number.

    Better to make our next birthdays than not! Haha xxx

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  2. I agree with Sue. 3 hours walking every day no mean feat. Ageing ain’t for sissies Pete and it is often a case of diminishing returns but, and stop me if this sounds familiar, there is still strength in your arms and things to do. Of this I have no doubt. Best Wishes, Lloyd.

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  3. Managing three hour walks with Ollie sounds like the prime of life to me.
    Deteriorating eyesight after the age of 40 is the most frustrating thing – our addiction to screens doesn’t help – my sight is much worse than my mother’s and grandmothers’ was at the same age.
    And I understand why Elizabeth I had all her mirrors removed.

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  4. I keep struggling through the You Tube fitness videos but sometimes I have to take the low options and even the Five rejuvenating Tibetan rites can take a toll sometimes… An slightly older friend told me that I’d notice my fortieth birthday… Well, we’ll keep going. Whilst the brain is going… πŸ˜‰

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    1. This was a little cheeky really, and brought on by not being able to read the instruction leaflet. After that, I just got a bit carried away…It’s not as bad as I paint it, but a little self-deprecation never hurts now and again.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  5. I have found that on days when I feel my age, if I say to myself – ‘Just do it!!’ don’t think about taking that walk or going into town – just do it !! I’ve been surprised at myself at how much I actually accomplish.
    The mirror – is a definite No-No on days like that – I scare myself when I realize that it’s actually ME looking back !!!

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  6. I seem to remember that you once said that you were surprised to have made it so far! So think of this as a bonus πŸ™‚ After shifting a couple of tonnes of clay in 50KG sacks yesterday I’m feeling a bit old myself this morning. Mind you I received a Facebook message from my Uncle of 83 who does a paper round in Dawlish and then delivers parcels for DPD (or a similar company) most days, then I tell myself to stop winging and ‘get on with it’! Enjoy the sun whilst it last Pete.

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  7. An I recognise that angst in my husband, who is going kicking and screaming into old age, but like Cindy, I find myself being relieved at not having to be young and beautiful, that is still how the world works.

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  8. I have days like that. Annoys me when I can’t scramble up a hill any more or lift my leg over a stile. Somewhere along the way my hips and knees have decided not to work properly. I think you are to be highly commended for walking 3 hours a day. I’d be completely knackered!

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  9. Sometimes being pregnant for the first time at 35 I really feel a bit old. I can only imagine there is going to be more of that from here on out. I also remember the first time I had to read my dad a menu because he’d left his specs at home and couldn’t see a thing. I think it made him a little sad as did being forced to stop jogging at 63. He’s still the liveliest almost 68 year old I have ever met though.

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    1. No doubt your condition is tiring, Abbi, though 35 is an age I have almost forgotten now. You have almost half my life to live again, and I am sure that you will do it very well.
      My sympathies are with your Dad. I have to put on my spare glasses, to locate the pair that I cannot see!
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  10. As a woman, I have grown comfortable in my old skin and find it a relief that I don’t find it necessary to look thin/young/pretty anymore. It gets easier for me to allow younger muscles to carry/lift or bend over. I walk every day, but I don’t go your distance.

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  11. I once read somewhere that a woman near, or maybe at, the age of 100, was asked how it was to be so very, very old. The woman responded that she didn’t recognize herself in the mirror, and that she was still a little girl inside.

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