In The Restaurant: A Poem

Another short poem. Still experimenting!

There was an edge as he ordered the starter
He couldn’t bring himself to face that, so carried on smiling
By the time the main course had arrived
Before he had eaten the first forkful
He just knew that love had gone
He didn’t know why, but he knew it had happened
Deep down, he confessed in his mind
He did know why, but didn’t want to admit it to himself
He didn’t even hear the words she spoke
He already knew them, from countless repetition in his head

His errors had come home to roost
At a time he least expected
He nodded and agreed
Failed to fight back the tears
No taste for dessert
But more wine would be needed
He was sure of that
If sure of nothing else

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38 thoughts on “In The Restaurant: A Poem

  1. It is always good to experiment and take change of a dymanic if one feels like doing so, and i feel it is a lovely attempt. I like the bittersweet yet eloquent approach to it, my favourite verse being the opening line of ” there was an edge as he ordered his starter” is a great line.

    Coincidentally I have been trying my hand at one poem I had written (though secretly hidden within the depths of my notebook) as I am always weary of how people would feel if it were to ever appear online. Having said that my very first blog post was a poem. This was a nice approach to something different.

    Sincerely Sonea

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for your kind and encouraging words, Sonea. I also liked that opening line, but not much of what followed, sadly. I don’t really ‘feel’ poetry in the same was as when I am writing short stories. It will have to ‘go back in the drawer’ until I get some real inspiration.
      Best wishes, Pete.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m going to be honest, Pete and say that I like your stories much better. The idea is good, but I think Sue is right. Fewer words. More subtlety.

    Doesn’t necessarily mean you should give up, though. Maybe try putting some lyrics to some of your favourite music? Not with a view to turning out perfect rhyme, but just to practice creating rhythm?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your honesty is welcome, Ros. I agree that poetry is probably not for me, so I am glad that I tried this experiment. As things stand, my short poetry ‘career’ is behind me. ๐Ÿ™‚
      Best wishes, Pete.

      Like

  3. Just a thought, Pete – get rid of some of the extraneous words, do more show than tell…. and even if you’re not rhyming, try to get a bit of rhythm. Given that I haven’t written any poetry for a couple of years, perhaps that’s a bit cheeky of me

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not cheeky at all, Sue. I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing, and I’m the first to admit that, and to welcome your advice. Not that happy with these two myself, but just thought I would try it. I’m not sure I am into poetry enough to make a decent fist of it though.
      Best wishes, Pete.

      Liked by 1 person

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